Archive for February 11th, 2020

11
Feb
20

Sin

We, the sellers of “sin stocks”, the military industrial pharmaceutical complex, the purveyors of guns, sex, money, and/or drugs invite you to share the profit from the reluctance of the majority to be associated with “sin” by entering the market for the time-sharing of sins. Following the successful incorporation of sin with an objectively artificially limited useful life, sin has now become forgiven, unfashionable, and/or no longer able to send you to hell, after and/or before consumption.

A sin shared is a sin after all halved and half a sin halved again has the exponential potential to become barely a sin at all. We are also offering fractional ownership of slightly less sinful sins; fringe sins for the discerning, hipster style sinner. The infinite scalability of the gravity of sins allows us to exchange a trendy small white sin for as little as the flavour of your salt and/or some of the luminescence beneath your bushel. Cross your own private Rubicon within your limited lifetime and in we will throw, (and for free) the sin of omission: “Thou shalt not kill but needst not strive, officiously, to keep another alive”.

Addendum: Mortal sins such as the aforementioned killing are not yet for public consumption as the destruction of the grace of God in the heart of the sinner is absolutely absolute and as such mortal sin is really only safe for corporations.