Apples for courses

Got this crazy Chinese doctor following me around, wasn’t sure at first, but the Dongfeng parked outside the cafe where I supplement my addictions surely didn’t belong to any but a member of our version of the Medicare card swiping class and the order for a ristretto macchiato on low fat fermented mares milk sure did remind me of an episode in the Uyghur reeducation facility where I had spent the worst part of a demi-semester as barista exchange student. A few days later, when I thought the nightmares had begun to pale, a similar looking vehicle discharged the very same, or very similar, individual, now white coated, who proceeded door to door in my apartment block handing out face masks and hankies, telling our burghers to sneeze only into the armpits of the poor and to suffer these fools with an appropriate modicum of pleasure. Well, I fractured my left armpit while dib dib dobbing at a no holds barred Marxist jamboree half a century ago and ever since have been sensitive to changing levels of carbon dioxide, all literary works relating to moonbows and the imagery conjured up when I question the source of that nasty itch just beyond my fingertips. I have heard that apples help, I like the green ones but sometimes they are far too difficult to pollinate by hand, not to mention a tendency towards the tart end of the gustatory spectrum. If I have to cook them down with butter and our local version of what you call cinnamon, will this have the same effect? Will an apple pie keep reality away?