Snarky

They said the amplitude was acting up again.
Peaks like that frighten the board.
So they sent in consultants armed with spreadsheets
and phrases like responsible modulation.

The wave was given coaching on tone management.
“Your enthusiasm,” they said,
“creates unnecessary volatility.”
It tried mindfulness, it even tried being a line.

Eventually, they brought in a task force
to “align expectations.”
A report was issued confirming
that the oscillations had agreed to behave.

Soon the wave wore a tie.
It spoke at conferences about “resilience.”
It no longer crashed, it merely “adjusted.”
Investors felt soothed. Everyone slept.

Entropy filed a complaint —
apparently no one had asked her
if she consented.
But HR misplaced her form.

The sea was told to shhh…
The wind was rebranded as “airflow solutions.”
Everything was optimized
to the point of extinction.

They published the results in a glossy journal:
The Triumph of Controlled Decay.
A triumph, indeed —
like everything had been raptured.

Balnce, fed into the maw.
returned a faint ripple of fat.
and the interns blamed it on rounding error.